First Advice Of The Year . . . Do NOT Stand On The Toilet Stool Rim!!! No Matter What You Want To Reach . . .

This was what I posted as my status on facebook on January 1.  Lots of questions were asked about that post.  Following here will be the story.

I have about 4 shelves behind my stool in the bathroom.  These shelves contain towels, washrags and decorations.  On the very top shelf that I can never reach, is a very nice metal container with sunflowers in it.  What is the point of putting anything there that I need as I cannot reach it anyway?  Right?

Well, I was reorganizing after Christmas and thought that I needed that flower arrangement somewhere else.  I have a separate room for the bath tub, cabinet and sink,  which is much bigger  and a separate room where the toilet is which is very small with a small sink.  This was probably a good idea when the house was built because someone could use the toilet while someone was bathing. There are four doors accessing these rooms and I really do not like to haul a kitchen chair back there to reach things.  Sometimes I take a broomstick or something to scoot items and then try to catch them.  I already realized that this would not be a good idea because I could see my face getting smashed or cut something or break or dent something.

My brilliant idea? Stand on the toilet seat.  I closed the lid and pressed on it and decided that it was just a thin plastic thing that gave and I would not be able to stand on it.  I decided to not stand on the other lid  either as it was the same material.  But!…the toilet was porcelain and should hold me.  Good idea, right?  NO!

I hop right up with a foot on either side of the rim.  The first thing I notice is that the toilet seems to sag or sink down. I look down and my feet are sort of sliding.  Combine a damp, cold sort of porcelain rim and old tennis shoes and some sliding is sure to occur.  I think to myself, “what have I done?”.  I think about falling in the toilet with one leg and all of the pain I will feel to other parts of my body as I crash, and various other thoughts come to mind. I wonder how will I land?  What will I hurt?  Will I break the same foot again, a leg, an ankle?  Why do I never think things through?  Why do I think I can do anything?  Why do I not realize that I am old now?  Why did I not bring my cell phone with me in case?

I look up at the floral arrangement and realize that since I am up here, I might as well go ahead and grab it.  I have to stretch a bit still, but I do get a hold of it.  This action seemed to make sliding a little more noticeable.  I dance around a bit steadying my feet and wonder what is the best way to get down.  I again imagine all of the pain I may be in.  I do not know why I lingered around on this porcelain death device so long to think about all of these things.

I do finally get down and feel so very thankful.  I knew I really did not want to admit my stupidity but I did tell Wessie.  Wow, you should have heard the things he had to say and the scenarios he came up with!

I will fill you in on that tomorrow.  He has such an imagination!