Hitching A Ride

We often visited my husband’s family, a 45 minute trip. One particular time, I do not remember why but on the way home, my husband wanted me to drive.  We had four of the children with us, the two youngest and the two oldest.  He pulled over on the highway and stopped the van and told me to just climb over to the driver side and he would walk around. He is such a gentleman.  Too bad I am not as nice as he is!

He gets out of the van and helps me over to the driver seat and I get adjusted.  He then begins to walk around. I whisper to the kids that I am going to pretend to drive off to tease him.  He deserves this because every time we go to get in the van, he will edge forward and then backward while he is laughing at us walking forward and backward trying to get in to the van.  As you all know, a van does not really have much of a hood.  As we are slowly pulling away pretending that we are leaving, he quickly jumps on to the front of the van and is hanging on to the place where the wipers are hidden on the windshield.  You know where I mean, there is a small groove/trough type area he can hang on to.  Of course, I was not driving, I was just sitting there. The kids and I are dying laughing and I have the window down.  My husband has his head turned away from the road and is just lying on the van. He is all spread out, arms and legs stretched to the max and is out of breath and sort of panting. The way he has himself positioned there, he appears to be smashed to the front of the van and looks to be hanging on for dear life.  It actually looks as if he is attempting to keep the car from moving forward and is applying ever so much exertion that he is wearing himself out. What an actor!  He is pretty strong, but…..

A car approaches from the other direction and pulls up and stops.  So, you are picturing the entire thing, a guy sprawled across a van appearing to hang on for dear life and trying to stop the van from driving off with a woman behind the wheel laughing in delight. If you knew my husband you would fully appreciate this and you should have seen his facial expressions and body language.  He is just sprawled there lifeless looking and making such a face, looking sort of defeated all spread out across the windshield. A giant hood ornament! The driver of the car, is here to save my husband and found none of this humorous at all!  The more concerned the driver looked, the harder we laughed and the angrier the driver  seemed to become.  My husband is still just lying there portraying his part of the abused guy.  If I could have ever stopped laughing, I would have explained to the driver what we were doing, but everything just kept making us laugh more and I could barely breathe for laughing. He assesses the situation and sees me and all of the children just sitting there not even attempting to help this poor man, just laughing at his misfortune.  He then sort of glares at me and turns toward  my husband.  He says to my husband, “Buddy, do you need some help?”  That is all it took, now we totally lose it, we are hysterical.    Not my husband, straight faced as can be he gasps, “No, thanks, I am alright!”  and adjusts his grip on the car. Since he was trying not to laugh and to talk at the same time my husband’s voice sounded weak and as if he were gasping for air.  The driver looked so compassionate and concerned about him, his eyes keep going from my husband with compassion to me with hate.  Again, more laughing. That driver thinks I am heartless and a murderer, I just know it!  It is like he knows that my husband needs help but in the position he is in, he has to refuse help.  Our laughter is uncontrollable now.  My husband turns his head the other direction and tries to stifle his laugh. I can see him trying to look up at me without moving his head and he is cracking up. He is loving this because the joke we tried to pull on him has backfired and he is getting all of this special attention while I am the bad guy.

I am beginning to wonder how to get out of it.  Will this guy ever just drive off and leave us alone?  It seems he just is at a loss of what to do.  He wants to help, but the guy is refusing it. He finally just shakes his head looking fed up and pulls away not seeing the humor in this at all. As he is driving away, he keeps looking back and shaking his head in contempt worried about my husband’s fate yet thinking he was stupid enough to turn down help. I am sure that he is having second thoughts about leaving this man with those crazy people. I wish we would have had cell phones back then to video it, but it we had them, I am sure the police would have been called and on the scene.

Have any of you been in a situation you needed to get out of but just could not?  I am sure.  Haha.  Please comment below.

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