Just Not Feeling It….

The first point I must make is that I am not a writer and have never claimed to be. I admire writer’s and always have.  I even had a fictional book that I started years and years ago, but I know I could never be a writer.  I just enjoy telling stories.

The funny thing I have noticed, though, is that when I feel like telling a particular story, it just rushes out and I cannot type fast enough.  I have a 3 or 4 page list of stories that I want to tell.  My husband and I remember something and add to that list. When it is time for my Sunday or Thursday post, I look the list over and boom! out comes a story.  My husband jokingly talks about me having writer’s block. I laugh and say I am not a real writer, so no, I do not.  But, as I said above, sometimes it just seems to flow and I have my story in no time.  The point of this is that today, I do not really have a story that jumps out or that I want to tell.  I am “just not feeling it”.

I want the main result of the stories I tell to help people recall good memories, to laugh, to smile or to just feel good.  Today, I do not have that gumption.  I have sort of been blue all week.  I have no idea why and I have tried everything that I can do to turn a different color!  Lol!  I have played music, I have danced, I have exercised to get those endorphins going that are suppose to make you feel good, I have played with the kitties, I have done anything that I could think of to stop those tears.  I have not even watched a Hallmark movie as those always bring tears! The odd thing is, there is no reason for the tears, or at least none that I can think of, they just appear.

At first, I thought it was because I needed to pray for someone and that something bad must be going to happen.  I can successfully say that I think that I have the town, the United States and some other countries covered with prayer! Every time a crying spell would come I would pray, I started with the standard list and then waited for someone to come to mind.  I would ask for people to come to mind and then I would pray for them. Since that was not helping, I naturally thought there was someone that I was missing to pray for.  I feel like I pretty much have it covered though.

So, back to trying to figure out exactly what it is.  I thought it was thinking about everyone out and about in the horribly cold weather, but I had specifically prayed for that as well. I have no idea.  I figure it is that I miss my babies.  Once they move out, what you spent your entire life doing has to change.  It is hard to stop being a mommy and believe me, I am not doing a good job.  I annoy my children with all of my cautioning statements and warning.  I wear them out wanting text messages when they are home for the night from an event or when the weather is bad.  I am trying to back off and eventually I may, much to their hopes!  I am so silly.  Then I would cry thinking about how my mother must have felt and feel sorry for that.

Well, there is no excuse that I can find.  It must just be hormones even though all of that was over with in my early 40’s.  I guess hormones mess with you your entire life. A friend told me to blame the weather.  We can blame that as well.  Although, I really try not to complain about our weather, because it is sort of the best.  You have a couple of days of extreme frigid temperatures, -50’s and stuff like that and then in three days, you have a 50-60 degree day.  It is so good to not have an entire deep freeze for 3 or 4 months like others do.  A lot of winters , we do not even have frigid temperatures and sometimes not even snow to speak of. I love that we can have several different seasons in just one week.  I think it is the perfect weather.

My mood is on the upswing.  I have not teared up once today! Anyway, sorry for not telling a happy story.  The Super Bowl is coming up and if my team wins, that certainly will improve the mood!  I may tell Sunday’s story before the game to insure a happy one!

4 thoughts on “Just Not Feeling It….

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