This won’t be one of my normal lighthearted posts, so you may not want to read this one. I had actually initially started this blog to perhaps discuss things and to heal. I started out with my childhood memories and then I just seemed to have fun things to say. I do, however, feel like I need to mention this. I apologize if it is a downer. To me, it is more of a revelation. I will say right off at the beginning here . . . I am completely fine now and happy!
I never understood depression. I always felt like it was a choice – – you could sit around and think about depressing things and cry or you could get up and occupy yourself and change your thoughts and the depression would go away.
I work at a doctor’s office and I often talked with the drug reps. I expressed my feelings to them about depression and they always tried to explain to me how it was. I just never could understand that. I have to say, I apologize. I am totally wrong!
After my children moved out and I was here alone (my Wessie is gone a lot, so basically I am alone) I was so sad. I never called it depression. I was just so sad and lonely. Turns out it was depression! Wow, it is a real thing and there is nothing you can do about it. Well, not by yourself at least.
I was on the phone with Wessie one night while he was out of town and I told him I was so sad. I either needed a cat, a baby or to kill myself. Haha. I actually thought he would go with the latter but he said we will get a cat. We ended up with two because Wessie did not want to split sisters up. That was nice and we got Lemon and Zoe. That did not help that much. It just made me some more responsibility and work. I do love them though and am happy we adopted them.
I finally went to the doctor that I work for and told him I needed help. He has always been a good listener. He is so sympathetic that you just feel good even talking with him. He suggested a medicine. I was not happy about this at all, but I was agreeable. I then went to the pharmacy.
I have a fantastic pharmacy. I went to pick up the medicine and was crying because this made me feel like such a failure. I was having to admit I was wrong all along and having to admit I was depressed when I never believed it was a real thing. The pharmacist who is also a wonderful person discussed this and the medication with me for at least an hour. He was so kind and helpful. I have to say that I was reluctant. He explained that it would take some time for it to have full benefits but that I should notice within a week that I was feeling better. He was right and I was so shocked about how much better I felt.
I have more to say but I do not want this to be a long blog so I will post the second part later.